I use the nickname "Ozzie" sometimes when writing or poking fun at someone . It's a throwback to my step-grandfather, Mario Iannarelli, who nicknamed people at the drop of a hat. If you asked "who was that" he'd say "Mr. Flick-Blicker" or if you asked when something would happen he would invariably say "Tuesday". If you asked what day it was, he'd say "It's Ernie Iacobucci's birthday." One day I asked who wrote some forgotten article in a magazine. He said, "Ozwald B. Twaddle". And thus my nickname, "Ozzie". No it's not for Ozzy Osbourne.
I wrote much satire during my long career. I'd publish it but so much of it was full of inside jokes and references that no one would understand it, save a very few friends. Most of it was parodies of songs, like "We Didn't Start the Fire" or Buffett's "Everybody's Got a Cousin in Miami".
However, this is something that I wrote for Groundhog Day (yes we celebrated it). It's modeled after the poem "The Raven" by my favorite author, Edgar Allan Poe. It was written in about 30 minutes one day, at least 30 years ago. Here it is. Hope it makes you smile.
"NEVERMORE: A Tale of the Groundhog"
In my bed I was a nappin'
Suddenly there came a tappin'.
Who could that be there a tappin'
Tappin' on my chamber door?
Didn't want to get up and rise
Because it comes as no surprise.
How could it be a surprise?
Surprise? For me a total bore!
Now with two cold hands encumber
Waking me from peaceful slumber.
How can I have peaceful slumber?
Slumber? They're rotten to the core!
Out in the cold, no longer sleeping
From my hibernation keeping.
How come they keep on a-keeping
Keep banging on my chamber door?
For my rest I'm sorely pining
A thousand lights in my eyes shining
Is there a shadow? Or sunlight shining?
Shining in my eyes, so very sore!
How could one not see reflection
With all the lights in the press section?
They just don't get the proper connection.
All this bunk is pure Folklore!
But to my praises the press do sing
Even though my eyes still sting.
Will we ever again have early spring??
Quoth the Groundhog, NEVERMORE!!
-Ozzie Bee Twaddle a/k/a Ozzie Allan Poe
Smile. Six more weeks of winter. Blahhhh!
