My Christmas and New Year Memories: A Tale of Happiness

OK I don't think I could possibly "offend" anyone with this one, so I will forego my usual "warning".  *on second thought... maybe some of this could "offend".*  In that case... well, you know.


The Christmases of my childhood were sweet, happy, innocent times.  I am ashamed to say I don't remember many of the usual traditions - like the Seven Fishes.  I know my maternal grandmother Erminia would do them, along with enough cookies and baking to feed an army.  I remember turning my nose up at "baccala"  (dried codfish) and remember it tasting like a salty rubber tire.  Never liked it!

I do remember however, that our tree was never decorated till Christmas Eve, after Dad got home from work.  We would always wait, he would string the lights, Mom would place the cherished glass decorations (some of which still exist!) and then place the tinsel carefully.  Dad often had a train platform where he would set up his beloved O-Gauge Lionel Trains, along with "Plasticville", the village, and the train station, and little mirror "pond", brush-trees and little soldiers and people.

I have mentioned that one year, we got a fake tree.  We hated it.  The second year we had it, Mom and I decided that this was not happening.  It was late, and it was Christmas Eve.  We trekked in the freezing cold from our house to the lot at St. Barnabas School (about four blocks).  We bought a tree, and the guy felt so sorry for us that he gave us a discount, AND carried it back to our house.

Then we would settle in after the decorating of the tree, and Mom would read us "The Night Before Christmas".  Then it was upstairs for us.  It was the only night of the year that Mom never had trouble getting us to go to bed.  Then the next morning, mayhem would ensue as we raced downstairs to see what Santa brought!  I sometimes worried that Santa could not come because we didn't have a fireplace!  My dearest memories are the year I got my prized Barbie Doll, and another year I got a 28" English racer.  (I couldn't reach the pedals!)  How I loved those dolls though.  We played games, one of our favorites was "Mousetrap", another was "Mille Bourne", a card game.  And of course, Monopoly and the Game of Life were popular also.  I think Mom still has some of those games in her basement!

Then we would head off to the grandparents' houses.  We were bound to run into some of the cousins there, which was always a good time.  I miss those days, my Mom's siblings, and my cousins, who are now parents and grandparents themselves!

Then on New Years Eve, my paternal grandmother Angela (of wedding gown fame) would open her home to her siblings and their kids.  There was SO MUCH FOOD.  And lots of love, and laughter, and more food.  Midnight we would go outside and make noise by banging on pots or trash can lids.  After she moved to 12th St. in 1966 we would take a hammer and bang on the steel electrical pole with the trolley wires.  We would stick "Greenie Stickem Caps" to the trolley rails, and wait for the trolley to come.  Bangbangbangbang!  It was SO much fun!  We were so easily amused.  And there were no cellphones or electronic entertainment.  Just each other, and simple things.

The next day, "Mummer's Day" as it was called in our house, we would all go, of course, to the parade.  Dad's uncles would go in the morning and set their ladder up across the street from St. Agnes Hospital.  We always had a great vantage point for the parade.  If you got too cold, you went to Grandmom Rucci's on Iseminger Street to warm up with hot chocolate and cookies.  Then when your feet were warm again, you would go back to your ladder!

Then after the parade, back to Grandmom Rucci's, where there was yet MORE FOOD and laughter, and card games, and so many cousins and friends.

My memories of those years are SO dear to me.  I often wonder if my brothers have those same memories - I am sorry to say that my youngest brother, a mere child born in '64, may not remember some of these times, when our grandmother was a vibrant, funny and fun-loving woman.  I have to keep those memories of her close to my heart.

Of course I miss my dear Dad... and all of his uncles, and his aunts.  His Aunt Cheta is still kicking at 91 years, God bless her.  I miss those innocent, happy days of my youth.  They replay in my mind over and over again, especially on this night.

Of course this is also the anniversary of my engagement to my Lou.  My ring was purchased while I was present, but I did not get the ring immediately.  He very carefully put it in a prize pack in a box of Cracker Jack, and it was presented to me on Christmas Eve, 1979 with my parents, grandparents, his siblings all knowing it was happening.  I did not.  Still, sweet memories of his family and mine.

Now I am content to stay home for New Years... too many crazies on the road.  We will have dinner with friends early, then retire to our homes before the madness starts.

And the memories will remain, in my heart and mind... always and forever.  Be sure to make your own memories.  We didn't have videos at our fingertips.  Our "videos" are what's in our minds' eyes.


And another thing.....

If you're asking for a sign - THIS IS IT.  If you are long estranged from any of your family, and you can find the least little spark of regret in your heart, reach out.  Is there really a reason you don't speak to your brothers or sisters?  Don't wait till it's TOO LATE.   Does it REALLY matter who's at fault???  You don't have to reconcile, but at least think about it - see if you can remember what dumb stuff made you stop talking to begin with.  I know some relationships are beyond that, but... If the memory is fuzzy, then it's time to reach out and reach UP.   Forgive.

Yes, forgive.  Even if you can't forget, and a very wise priest (Fr. Dougherty, who heard my confession after being away for 25 years) said that forgiveness does NOT mean reconciling... it only means forgiving.  If you try and it doesn't work - remember, you don't need to hold grudges - and be renting people free space in your head while they go merrily about their lives not even thinking of you.  Be at peace knowing you tried.


I cherish you all - my family, and my family that isn't blood.  Tomorrow isn't promised, so make sure those you love know it.  SAY IT.  MEAN IT.  SHOW IT.

Love and health, and good wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.  May God bless you all - remember the Reason for the season.