My Catholic Parish's TIRED Excuse for "Music": To Quote the late, great Dr. Lucy Carroll: SCHLOCK!!!!!

NO, I'm not letting it go.  This is a reprint of a rant which was originally published on December 16, 2018.  It really means a lot now that our small choir, who was asked by the pastor to sing some of the Vigil Masses, couldn't do it because of an inflexible "music" director.  We were willing to sing their tired service music, but can you imagine having the luxury of having a GUEST choir want to sing, then TRYING to impose your awful music on them by refusing to let them perform their OWN sacred, beautiful repertoire?  Yeah, that happened.  I'm pissed.  The congregation could have heard good music - We'd planned to use "Alleluia, Sing to Jesus" as the entrance hymn.  At Offertory we were going to use "Panis Angelicus".  For Communion we would have done "Ecce Panis Angelorum" and "Soul of My Saviour".  We'd have done "How Great Thou Art" for the recessional.  Way better than the DRECK they "sing".  Sounded like a bag of cats with an extra loud microphone attached.


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If you're easily offended by HONESTY...  Stop reading now, because this is a genuine from-the-heart MAXI rant:

Why can't I find a Catholic Church with GOOD, sacred music?  Maybe a little bit of Latin?  Below list is just a tiny sample of what we sang at the Carmelite Monastery.  There were only five or six of us on a good day, and we did GOOD MUSIC.  We did four part harmony sometimes with only four voices.

I am SO tired of my (and many other Catholic parish's)  TIRED, awful, non sacred noise they call 'music'.  Same songs, (not hymns) every week, one of them particularly AWFUL called "Patience People".  REALLY?  And to murder a gorgeous Latin hymn "Ubi Caritas" by setting it to different tune?  I cannot STAND it.  Same old tired service music. And if you're going to TRY to sing "Taste and See", fine, but for crap's sake, DO IT IN THE RIGHT TEMPO.  Lose your version of "Hail Mary, Gentle Woman" until you LEARN to sing it properly.   Lose the tripe you call service music.  Lose the Marty Haugen CRAP. There is just SO MUCH good music to do, yet they do the same tired, awful stuff every week.  Just horrible.  Is there someone in charge who is CAPABLE of teaching something GOOD???

The Episcopalians have it right, they have the BEST music.  (No I don't want to be Episcopalian, not that there's anything wrong with that!) The Catholics were wise to steal it but have just forgotten and RUINED the whole worship experience.  The 'music' is HORRIBLE and is performed half-heartedly.  It's bad when you hear better music from the electric bells outside.

Think of how many would sing, and <GULP> actually join their choir if they sang REAL sacred music - motets are NOT that difficult.  I'm not even asking for polyphony or Antonio Lotti.  Just respectful, singable, sacred music.  No more happy-clappy SHIT.   This is just a small sample of our Advent programs over the past two years:

O Come O Come Emmanuel  Different verses - or sing it in Latin
Conditor Alme Siderum (Creator of the Stars of Night)
Quoniam Tu Illuminas  (this and Conditor are SIMPLE chant)
Rejoice the Lord is King
LATIN Sanctus and Agnus Dei - there are MANY from which to choose
Veni Redemptor Gentium
Long is the Winter
Come Thou Long Expected Jesus
Of the Father's Love Begotten
On Jordan's Bank
Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence (Gorgeous, and no need to change the words, Bosco.)
O Merciful Redeemer
O Lord I Am Not Worthy

Oh, and the MARIAN ANTIPHON:  Salve Regina, Regina Coeli, Alma Redemptoris Mater.  (SIMPLE!)

None of these hymns are difficult.  But they are BEAUTIFUL unlike what I hear every week.

REALLY these hymns are NOT hard to learn, in fact, many of the middle aged people would probably LOVE to hear these again, and probably remember them.

Sorry to go on and on.  Well, sorry NOT SORRY.  Offended?  Tough shit.